I Wanted to Fall Inlove with My Body Again! & I did!
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Yes, friends, I've successfully shed 40 pounds since June 2011.
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I FELL DOWN...big time.
Posted on January 22, 2012 at 6:32 PM |
I had to get how funny it would be to my friends. Why? because we've all been there. But for me...my eating ice-cream wasn't planned...if it were a planned cheat I would have been just fine. But...my reaction was...of DIVING INTO THE ICE CREAM CARTON like it was going to solve my problems. But I do remember...the crunch of the little chocolate pieces somehow feeling better...and the swish of the creaminess of the ice cream swirling over my tongue temporary drowning out my sorrows. With every bite I knew that I wasn't just eating food. I was feeding a STRESS EATING ADDICTION. Ok, so it wasn't Valium or a bottle of Vodka but I was eating it for the same reasons that others take pills or drink and that is just not okay for me to think that it's okay. In that moment it was just as bad as someone who is trying to stay away from alcohol ...taking another drink. On the poistive side, I didn't eat as much as I would have in the past. I ate 1/4 of what I would have eaten with a STRESS Reaction. while I don't do this everyday and my stress levels are not usually this high. My stress levels are at 1 to 4 usually and not a 12. I don't want to rationalize this and make it okay to do this again. I knew what my options were. i could have taken a walk, jumped on my mini-trampoline, got the crunch from celery (also very satisfying) but I didn't. I thought about texting Gigi or calling her as she has called or texted me when sitting in front of some dessert but I chose NOT TO. I mean, I was hell bent on that Ice-cream and on torturing myself about it later. |
Categories: Deeply Personal & Disturbing
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